Man-stache

Henry is convinced he is growing a moustache. He keeps telling everyone, "I am the only one in first grade with a moustache." I don't want to ruin it for him by telling him I have more of a moustache than him, so I just play along. He is very fastidious about his appearance, much more-so than our favorite caveman, Jack. We bought Jack deodorant, and Henry had to have some. Of course, not just any deodorant, but the "red kind." Now Henry goes to school smelling like an 80 year old with Old Spice under his arms. Henry does his own hair and much prefers Crew to any other products. So today he came into the family room and told me, "I wear deodorant, I comb my own hair, and I am growing a moustache, I am becoming a man and I am not even a teenager. In fact, I have not even been baptized!" He is a funny little Old Spice wearing, spiky-haired, moustache sporting man!

Tag

Okay, Carol tagged me. The 5th sentence on page 123 of the book I am reading is, "She didn't think policewoman were allowed to drink on duty." This from the lovely book chronicling the Ted Bundy murders The Stranger Beside Me. I think this is where I say something profound about the book I am reading, hmm..... I got nothing. And for me to have to tag 5 people is questionable, I don't even think 5 people read this blog. But, I think Terra O. and Julie do on occasion, so the rules are: pick up the book you are reading, turn to page 123, find the 5th sentence and then post on your blog. Oh, and I know you are more popular than I am, so tag 5 people once you are done.

Inappropriate

My friend's mother invited us to go swimming today. I actually put on my swimsuit, hence the lack of pictures on this posting. We swam for a little while and then I invited my friend's two little boys to my house to play. We ran to Sonic for "Happy Hour" and then to the bread store. Mind you, I still had on my suit and some shorts. I waited until the bread store looked clear of any other customers and then ran in. I was afraid I might burn the clerk's eyes out with my unattractiveness, but he survived the ordeal. He did say, "Have you been swimming?" I wanted to say, "No, I dress like this everyday because I am so hot." When I got back in the car (the whole ordeal took about one minute) I said to the kids, "Was that fast enough?" One of the little boys said, "Did you hurry fast because you are in your swimsuit?" I said, "Yes, I didn't want to traumatize anyone." Charlie piped up, "You went into a store in your swimsuit? That is not appropriate." He's right, it is not appropriate for me to put someone through that, but when you are in a hurry... And I thought Charlie wasn't ready for kindergarten. What do I know?

Jack's Birthday

Jack is 9! For his birthday he chose to eat at Texas Roadhouse (he wanted to eat at Chuck A Rama, but with a little persuasion from his dad he 'changed' his mind). We were also lucky enough to go see a great film called Meet Dave. Haven't heard of it? There is a reason for that. I don't think the movie studio was stupid enough to spend any money on promoting it. I kept thinking I would try to sneak out and go across the hall, Space Chimps actually sounded more appealing. I am known to fall asleep as soon as I hit the theater. Oh, no. I couldn't be that lucky. I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't even do that. It was a slow torture that should have ended much sooner than it did. But, Jack loved it, and after all it was his birthday. His laugh echoed through the whole theater since we and 4 others were the only ones dumb enough to waste our money, and I was just glad he was having fun on his day. He decided I didn't like it because it had "potty humor". I will let him keep on thinking that was the only reason I didn't enjoy it! He is a good, sweet boy and if he had fun, I can give up that hour and a half!

More of Jack

Yesterday we were watching something on TV while eating breakfast. An older man was on a date with an older woman. During the date the man excused himself to go to the restroom. Jack said, "I bet he is going to take the 'middle aged man's little miracle pill.'" Mark and I started laughing but wanted to know where he had heard that. Apparently he learned if from the new version of The Pink Panther. I guess I need to monitor his movie watching a little more!

Jack also told Mark yesterday, "There aren't any condiments that I like, except frosting!"

Things Kids Say

The boys were going to Mark's family cabin and Jack had his own take on things which he shared with a couple of my friends. Although he was mistaken he thought all of Mark's family was going to be there. He told them, "We are going to my dad's family's cabin. There will be 29 people, 3 of which are lactose intolerant, 2 senior citizens, and there is only one bathroom!"

We were at the hospital visiting my dad and of course the kids wanted to go to the cafeteria. My grandma said, "I was down there today and there is really nothing good." Henry said, "I need to be the judge of that myself."

At the cabin the adults were looking for Charlie and his cousin Sami, who is an 8 year old girl. Someone asked, "Has anyone seen Charlie and Sami?" To which Henry replied, "They are upstairs making out." I think we need to have a talk!

I know Charlie has said some crazy things, but at the moment I cannot remember them. I will update with his craziness later.

Kids say the craziest things. Last night we were talking about "business." I was saying to Mark, "That guy is in business, but I don't know what that means. For someone to say he is in 'business' is very vague." Jack said and he was VERY serious mind you, "Yeah, there are so many different kinds of business. There is the real estate business, monkey business, the fast food business....." The funniest thing is that he really thought 'monkey business' was a type of business. Today Charlie was being very tempermental about what he was going to wear to church. He wanted a suit, but we do not have a suit that fits him. So I was explaining to him we didn't have a suit but he could still wear a white shirt. He was upset because we did not have a PLAIN white shirt. I was getting frustrated and Jack noticed to which he said, "Charlie is such a fashionista."

Last night we were also discussing Jack and how he used to say truck, but replaced the t with an f when he was little. Our kids wanted to know why it was so bad and we told them it was one letter away from the worst swear word ever. Mark said, "I will beat you if I ever hear you say that word." I added, "I will beat you if you ever come home with a tattoo, a piercing, if you ever drink beer or smoke cigarettes." To which Charlie said, very seriously, "What if I kill someone?" I said, "Well, I won't have to beat you, you will be in jail." We were laughing at all the weird things our kids were saying when Henry piped up with some strange comment from the back. We didn't laugh and since he is so competitive, he got really angry. "Grrr, why don't you laugh at me?! I want to be funny." With that, I started laughing! Ahhh, kids!

T-Ball

Henry and Charlie are done with T-Ball as of today. It was a fun season as he had two buddies on the team which made games a lot more fun, for me!! Henry takes T-Ball very seriously. He likes to get people out, but of course they don't really "get out." He tags the kids from the other team and looks at them like, "Hey dude, I got you out." Of course they don't respond because in T-Ball you don't get out. We can thank the same parents that insist on the trophies and the graduations for this. These parents are those that started the "fair" movement. Everything has to be fair. We don't want anyone to be upset or have their feelings hurt and so we don't get people out, we don't keep score, and we make everything "fair." But, when my kids get in the car and ask who won, I tell them, "The other team did." I must have said this enough times because now Henry and Charlie will say, "We got creamed today." If they say, "I got a guy out," I will point out, "But you also go out." They need to learn that life is not fair. If it were I would have a housekeeper, lawn boy, and would be sitting poolside with a pedicurist at my feet. But, I am the lawn boy, the housekeeper, and the pedicurist and I'm good with that!

Graduation!

The moment all mothers dream of has come, twice! Two of my lovely children graduated in the last week. Did I prepare them for everything to come? Are they going to be okay in FIRST GRADE and KINDERGARTEN? Okay, so I don't mind going to see my kids do their little programs at school. But when did we start graduating from EVERYTHING?

I graduated from high school and college. My family came to my high school graduation, my class was very irreverent; setting off bottle rockets and throwing things. Mark and my sister in law and niece who were conveniently in town came to my college graduation, although I feel people missed out as there were refreshments following that one. It was great. I had my picture taken and received my fake diploma. There was obviously a sense of relief and accomplishment.

So, the question is, how do my kids feel when graduating from pre-school? They really haven't finished anything, in fact pre-school is not mandatory so they have accomplished nothing in the eyes of the educational system. Over the last week I found out that there is not only kindergarten graduation, but 5th grade graduation, which I guess is a celebration as kids move into the torturous, pubescent years. Then there is a graduation from those horrible memories into high school which can be equally as fun (although I didn't mind high school as much as junior high). I feel like these "graduations" are like the trophies that are now handed out to EVERY child that participates in sports. Why does every child deserve a trophy? Not all of them are good. They don't all win. Some of them don't even try. But now my kids expect that every time they play a sport they will get a trophy.

So, when my kids are 40 and still living with me, I can blame society. When people ask my children, "Why are you still living with your mom and dad?" my kids will answer, "I will not take an entry level job position as I have at least 50 trophies and have graduated 5 times. There is just nothing out there that meets my high level of achievement."

In the mean time I will go to the graduations and trophy ceremonies and enjoy their singing. But I promise you, it will not be so cute when they are 40, unemployed, living in my house, and they ask for a trophy and want me to take their picture after they mow the lawn!

Why do they have to be so smart?

Henry is sometimes too reasonable to be my child. He is more like Mark; analytical. We went to Nampa to go to Costco and Target. Nevermind that there is a Target less than 2 miles from our house, we must travel 25 minutes to go to the Nampa Target. On the way home Henry and Charlie were hitting each other and play fighting. It was driving me crazy so I said, "If you don't knock it off, I will stop the car and you will walk home!" Leave it to Henry to reason with me. "It is too far for us to walk. This road it too busy. It is also too dangerous and someone might kidnap us." Now I must have been a dumb child because when my mom used that threat, I believed her. In fact one day she pulled over and I did walk home. It was only a block, but nothing like following through to scare me for the rest of my childhood. We could have been in Texas and if she told me I was going to have to walk home I would have believed her. For some reason, Henry does not believe anything I say. Nothing like having children reasoning skills to take the fun out of parenting.

I Have Succumbed!

I have succumbed to the blogging world. I was told today by a friend and then it was confirmed by Mark, that I have some tendencies similar to those of a child with ADD, so I may do this once and be done with it. But, while watching a re-run of "Murder She Wrote," I realized that if Charlie can identify Jessica Fletcher and even figure out who the "murderer" is, I may have more spare time that I admit.Today Mark was cleaning up the dinner dishes while I was finishing my continuing ed (teaching CE, I need to clarify since I have to do continuing ed for various vocations; not being able to decide on a career a direct side-effect of my ADD) and the boys were sitting at the bar watching him clean up dinner and watching TV at the same time. All of a sudden Charlie said, "Dad, that is what I am going to get you for your birthday." Mark said, "What?" Charlie said, "Rogaine foam." Mark asked, "Do you know what Rogaine foam is for?" Charlie answered, "Yes, it is for your bald spot." The one thing about having kids is they are not shy about pointing out your flaws!So Mark doesn't feel picked on, my kids are always asking me why I can't seem to lose any "pounds." They say, "Mom you exercise, but you are not losing any pounds." Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed.
2 comments
5/23/08
by Angie
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